All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
