she told me i tasted like america
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
