Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
