she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize