4 words: hood of his car
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
