The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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