I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
