Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
