SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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