Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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