what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
