so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize