did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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