What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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