they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
