My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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