You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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