I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
