No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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