OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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