This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
