That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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