Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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