the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
