Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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