it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
