before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
