hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
