hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
