My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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