This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Hello my rib-scented angel!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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