I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
