i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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