after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
