you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
