You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
