Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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