I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
