Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
