I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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