I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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