Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
