very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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