hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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