oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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