He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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