Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize