Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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