hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You are the jesus of drinking
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
