I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I won't apologize to a one balled man
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Randomize
