$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
