Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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