Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
3pm strippers are depressing
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
