Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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