but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
