Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
