How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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