so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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