I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
