Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
