I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
