Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
