So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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