So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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