i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
God I need to hump something, right now.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
