Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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