Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
