I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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