y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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